Stinky Poetry

Haiku for the Man Next To Me on the Train Who Fell Into a Lake of Aqua Velva

I don’t know how bad
You smelled before the cologne
But now you smell worse.

Seriously, guy:
My nose thinks you’re a man-whore.
Try soap and water.

Haiku for the Woman Walking Upwind of Me on Bay Street Wearing 1.5 Litres of Gucci Rush

Sure, it’s expensive
But drowning yourself in it
Don’t make you richer.

Haven’t you heard of
Moderation in all things?
Obviously not.

Haiku for the 18-year-old 9-months Pregnant Woman Smoking in Nathan Phillips Square

Oh my dear sweet God…
Is Wayne Brady going to have
To slap a bitch?

Take that bullshit out
Of your damn mouth this minute —
Your baby hates you.

4 thoughts on “Stinky Poetry

  1. It’s possible that she only put on a teensy bit of Gucci Rush because, yo, that shit is STRONG. I actually really like the smell of it, but never bought any due to the strongness.

    As for the smoking while pregnant? There are no words.

  2. No, sugar, it’s not like that… I just needed an icon where I was giving the finger, and I didn’t have time to re-photoshop this one.

    I’ll change it! Don’t be sad, it was a good weekend. xoxo

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