There’s an old expression
Just after driving back to Oakville with a load of my belongings last Sunday, my mother’s car ceased to work. At first we thought it was the battery, but no, it was the alternator. She missed being able to visit dad, for the second time that weekend, and spent hours waiting at Canadian Tire to shell out $500 to get the damn thing fixed.
Then Tuesday at work I discovered that my credit card was declined for a much-needed coffee purchase, because someone had perpetrated fraud to the tune of $3000 in my name.
Then my tenant called to say that the Mr. Rooter repairman who, after three weeks of delays due to a backordered part, said he fixed her leaky faucet (and charged me $400 to do so) had not *really* fixed it, since it was now leaking again, and worse this time.
Last night I responded to Justin’s ‘spreadsheet of love’ and we have now dissolved nearly all our financial ties to one another. I wish I could say it felt good or freeing, but I’d be lying.
I’ve also found that apparently 28 is the age where I start getting white hairs: I am going grey.
After asking my friend Steph if I could come to her birthday party next month to give her the gloves which I knit for her at her request, and being declined since Justin had already been included in the plans (obviously having both of us in the same place at the same time right now would be like mixing matter and anti-matter), I am now suffering some anxiety at the thought that people I was assured were mutual friends are actually more Justin’s friends.
I know that this is an isolated incident, and I should just relax and have faith that people who have declared that they will not take sides mean what they say, but despite e-mails of support, nobody has come forward to ask me to stay over, or for a walk, or out to coffee or a movie. I worry that my sadness has given me a case of social leprosy: “Achtung! Breakups, depression and an inability to inspire commitment may be contagious! Keep your distance!”
Again, my rational mind knows I should calm down about this, and that panic and/or rash accusations will only make the situation worsen, but it’s hard to stay relaxed and trusting when the last time you were relaxed and trusting, you ended up holding an emotional grenade with the pin removed. Once obliterated by the false appearance of love, trust and true friendship, twice shy.
Call for help! I’m not sure when I will find more time to actually pack and sort, but come hell or high water it will have to be done by the 24th/25th of this month, as that is when I have booked the cargo van and storage space. Anyone who might be able to help me lift my 7 disassembled bookshelves, futon frame and 10 Rubbermaid containers into a truck would be very welcome and rewarded with the usual temptations of food and alcohol. My projected move times are Friday, November 24th from noon until 5pm (then I have to go eat turkey at the home of my friend
I hope the credit card company is taking care of it (and swiftly)???
As for help with the move, I of course have work on the 24th but let me know if you end up volunteerless… I have a half day of vacation that I could rearrange if you need me.
As for social leprosy, I believe Joe had to cancel out for tomorrow evening when he remembered he had a prior commitment, but I’m still free if you want to do a movie or dinner or pub or whathaveyou – I could probably even be talked into another game of squash, as I could surely use the exercise and endorphins.
I’m loath to volunteer him, but Friday’s are roomie’s day off, and if you called the house number and asked him, I’m sure he’d help. And if I’m wrong, I’m wrong, but it never hurts to try.
Also – I totally wanted to go out with you this week, except I’m of the ailing, and really only worth mocking at this point.
*hug*
please ignore my lack of vowel above.
Also – I’ve totally asked you out! Just not specifically, ’cause I don’t want to pressure you. And you’re always welcome to show up on my doorstep, if you remembered where my doorstep was.
If I have a birthday party next month, you are totally invited.
xoxo
Sucks about the credit card fraud. What the hell’s that all about?
And not to be contrary, but I think I technically have to be considered part of the “mutual friend” category (although Justin’s entirely classless and juvenile behaviour of late has not scored him any points in my book), and have thus gone out with you at least twice (although, as Chrissy mentioned, I had to bail on tomorrow, unless you kids feel like braving CASINO ROYALE with Joyce and I) — and look forward to continuing to do so.
And yeah, I’ll happily help you lift and move whatever. Count me in.
As I mentioned below, Joyce and I are going to CASINO ROYALE Friday (the aforementioned prior commitment) and you guys are welcome to come along.
I hate the shiny happy people song too.
Son of a! You’re moving on the *24th*?! Okay, I may be useless on the helping-you-move front, but I am very available for the traumatic aftermath (assuming you can tolerate that much of me in a week). Sunday brunch? Perhaps with Mrs. Stein?
In the interim, I think you should join me for Clue-night with my equally lame clinician friends this upcoming Monday. [enter suggestive eyebrow wriggling here] The Movie, The Game, The Ensuing Tomfoolery.
btw, if you’re looking to offload those gloves…
I’m in for the moving thing – I might not be able to be there from the beginning (’cause of work et al), but will get there as soon as I can post-work – I may need instructions on how to get there from the GO train.
World of bad with the…well…world of bad – I’m hoping we can get together this weekend so I can give you a hug – and maybe a cup of tea. Or some vodka. Sent you an e-mail.
re: the taking sides thing, I’d offer an alternative way of thinking about things. I can see that it’d likely be difficult for mutual friends to know what to do at this point – not only are they not sure of how to behave, but they may not know what you need, and may not want to push themselves forward. Truly, if you were getting multiple offers for walks, coffees, etc – would you have wanted to take them? If there’s someone specific you’d like to get together with, it might make sense to get in touch with them directly, so they know what you need. Also, a walk/movie will likely be easier for everyone to handle than a party where there could be the whole matter/anti-matter thing. That said, I think you’re right, and there is a risk – it might make sense to give things a little time to settle.
And, one last thing – 28 was the age I started getting grey hairs as well – I have a little group of (2 or 3 of) them right at the front of my head right now that I’m not doing anything about just in case I get a cool white streak like Rogue. Amy too – you’re not alone. I told Alyssa, and she said she thinks the same might be true for her, but she hasn’t seen her natural hair colour since she was 18, so she can’t be sure. 🙂
C
Dude, I love me some Tim Curry. And I’ve been intrigued by the really, really terrible ads for the Clue game that I see on TV. I may seriously be into the Clue game. For reals.
(ps – Don’t sweat it re: not helping with the physical moving. That’s what the strong, muscled men-folk are for. You just stay in the kitchen and cook dinner like a good girl) 😉
Dude, I’m so sorry about everything happening at once. And I would like to smack down your supposed friend — I understand that it would be awkward for everyone at this point, but it seems to me that the nicer, more supportive thing to do would be just tell you that Justin was already coming, and let you decide what you wanted to do.
But it sounds like there are lots of people who are here for you, which is good.
I’m totally fucking taking sides and the side I am taking is YOURS.
I won’t be back until November 25th from Cowtown, but maybe coffee in the city on – say – the 28th? Over your lunch hour or something? I am coming in for a coaching before I leave for NYC the next day (audition – agh).
You know, as ridiculous as it sounds, hearing that the grey hair thing isn’t just me is really very comforting. Weird, but true. And I would also be okay with a Rogue white-streak.
I’m emailing you back this minute.
Thanks, babe. You rock. And I would be there with you, celebrating my own birthday as well. Go saggitarians!
And by ‘party’ you need to know I mean “come play games and maybe watch a movie or TV on DVD and get mildly drunk at my house”.
🙂
Sagittariaaaaans!
My birthday is FIRST. YAY!
The good people at PC Mastercard have already cancelled my card and are shipping me a new one, along with an affidavit I have to sign that says I swear, no matter how much retail therapy I may have been doing lately, I have *not* spent $1500 on online purchases of random technical services.
Because I haven’t.
No, really, I swear!
I swear it in a signed affidavit, okay?!
IN BLOOD IF NECESSARY.
Your powerful muscles will be a boon to me.
Casino Royale is a good offer, but alas, I’m already booked in to see it on Saturday. No spoilers! Don’t tell me he’s blonde, I don’t want to know!
And in the “mutual friend” category, I was thinking more of folks whom we have only ever hung out with together, as a couple and only met since becoming a couple, not having had experience with them as individuals. You don’t really fit in that area, having known us both before we started dating.
I’m ALL yours on the 24th.
And hey, you’re entirely welcome to come to our birthday celebration this Saturday if you feel like it.
You are hilarious. I actually laughed out loud at that. If you were a Roger Hargreaves character you’d be Little Miss Forthright & Assertive.
I’m officially putting you in my all-seeing, all-knowing Google calendar, which runs my life, for lunchtime coffee on the 28th.
You’ll be pleased to know that during my Massive Book Purge, I rescued the Margaret Laurence from the toss pile, and am now taking a second shot at ‘A Jest of God’ and ‘The Diviners’, JUST FOR YOU.
xoxo
I put you down in my small written calendar of life. We will do lunch/coffee on the 28th. All I need is your business # for lo, I am retarded and do not have it.
All I have to say is that if I ran into Justin right now, he’d be smart to run like a turbo weasel in the other direction. Just sayin’.
Margaret Laurence always deserves to be rescued. Amen.
xxoo
if it makes you feel better, 1) there are numerous members of my mom’s side of the family that had white hair (not even gray! white!) by the age of 29, 2) and hair loss runs on my dad’s side of the family, and 3) i had my first grey at 18. i have *so* much to look forward to in the future.
invitation to DC still holds if you need to escape the city. *love*
So wad used my card once to shop at Wal-Mart and a movie Theatre. They jacked it up pretty good. I got a new card sent as well that I then proceeded to rack up. Nuts.
Daaaaaaaammmnnn…..
-if credit card fraud is anything like the cheque fraud I endured three years ago, I feel your pain. I hate that the onus is on *US* to sort that shit out.
-unfortunately I can’t help you on November 24th (work at client site in Scarborough/Markham plus am obligated to attend company party downtown that night…fuck)
If you need help the day of the 25th I AM YOUR WOMAN. Even if you want help on the Oakville/storage end then, PUT ME TO WORK.
Make you a deal: I’m yours on the morning of the 25th if you’re mine that night. (By which I mean that you have to come to my birthday party.)
Of course, I’m not so much of a jackass that I would refuse to help you move if you weren’t feeling up to hitting the pub later that night, so feel free to use my mad moving skills either way. But it would be awesome to see you at the pub.
Oh, and as for grey hair, mine started going at the tender age of TWENTY-FREAKING-THREE. Beat that!
Kisses!
Dude, I’ve had grey hair since I was 17!
I’m here via Melly (looking for voice mails, I confess! ;), and beyond random sympathetic noises, I don’t have much to offer. except this: I started going grey at 18, and now at 34 have a GREAT relationship with my colorist ;). So it is FAR from just you!
Psst… drop me a line about Friday, as far as coordinating meet up etc. goes – lj username at memento dash mori dot ca. I’ve got the day booked off, so just let me know when you want me where.