That subject line sounds like some sort of wacky clue for a cryptic crossword. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “does she just sit around writing on LJ *all damn day*?”
The answer of course, is no.
I also check email obsessively, bite my nails, daydream, and stare out the window at construction on the new OCAD building.
Oh, and I slaughter the environment. Which brings me back to my original fear. What if God is a tree? Because, if God should happen to be a tree, or even some sort of deified forest, I am severely f*cked in the Afterlife.
Just this morning, I printed out my usual batch of 30 copies of the issues report, which is 30 x 30 pages, or 900 sheets of paper. Then, in a spectacular show of disregard for the life of our planet, I was ordered to print out 4 copies of selected notes **for people who already have these documents** Another 200 sheets of legal-sized paper. Next, I have to perform an in-depth Hansard search for legislative remarks and print multiples of the results. Easily another 200-300 pages.
We need a Fahrenheit 451 revolution.
Everyday use at least one ream of paper. I cringe each time I reach for a new packet. I flinch when someone asks for another copy of something that is an inch thick.
If God is a tree, I might as well pack it in.
It might be time for your company to invest in Palm reader software (like the PDA kind, not the arcane kind) so these people can just download it and read wherever they go.
I have, on occasion, told people around here they’re making the forests cry with the paper they waste. We’ve shamed some of them into actually checking their work before they print out the report. Such a novel concept.
Better living through shame…? Novel concept, have you thought about starting your own religion? The benefits are excellent, tax-free income and property, mindless adulation and brown-nosing from the more sycophantic members, and your very own temple*! Have all this and more, for just three easy payments of $666, we will send you your very own I-Wanna-Be-A-Cultist-When-I-Grow Up starter kit. If you act now, we’ll even pitch in a sparkly turban and majestic purple robe (sizes SM,M, L, XXL are an additional $10).
-caellum
*Temple plans included in kit. Actual temple must be built upon the backs of your slavish cult members as a monument to your greatness or an alien embassy, your choice of course