Introducing: My Obsession with Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab

At last, I’ve been encompassed in the dark embrace of BPAL. Last night, in a sweet gesture of camaraderie, the lovely and the generous brought out their many “imps” of thickly scented oil for me to huff and take notes on.

It was my own little mini-BPAL (Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab) party! A lovely birthday gift, to be sure.

Although I’m generally allergic to alcohol-based spray-perfumes, scented essential oils are okay by me, so this was a great opportunity to sample some home-blended non-commercial smells. Some reacted magically to my skin, others made me want to gag, but the whole thing was a fabulous experience. joined me in my sensory journey through the olfactory world, and together we purred and gagged at various scents. If either or are reading this, I think you should go take a gander at the link; this stuff might be right up your alley, and at the very least, the descriptions are a blast.

I bet would really dig “Desdemona”: an innocent, soft and pure blend of sweet pea, carnation and water lily. Just so you know, Mum, if you type “carnation” (your fave, and hard to find in perfumes) into the search engine, you get 13 different perfumes: Dreamland, Masquerade, Saint-germain, Maenad, Desdemona, Bathsheba, Brisingamen, Maiden, Alice, The Caterpillar, Inquisition Fée, Morocco, and Moscow. Check them out.

Here, in great and obnoxious detail, are my first BPAL sniffing notes

WHAT I LOVED (Comments in italics are mine)

Golden priapus – Insatiable lust, unending vigor! A truly carnal, energetic men’s blend: vanilla and amber with juniper, rosewood and white pine. (Traditionally masculine) LOVED IT. Very yummy. Who let the dogs out? WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF.

Les fleurs du mal – The scents of the blossoms of darkness, condensed into one perfume. Features a rose base, softened with lilac and wisteria. Seriously lilac. Decadent & delicious.

Bastet – Bast, Ubasti, Ailuros, Ba-en-Aset. Represented as both a domestic cat and a fierce lioness, she truly evidences traits of both. She is the Mother of All Cats, Goddess of Sensuality, Fertility, and a guardian and protector of women. She is also one of the Eyes of Ra, and in that aspect is an Avenging Goddess, seeking retribution and punishing enemies of her people. Luxuriant amber, warm Egyptian musk, fierce saffron and soft myrrh, almond, cardamom and golden lotus. (Gender neutral) Apparently, felines really dig almonds. That’s the first note that hits you, then it mellows into a sort of sandalwoody smell, kind of like a Lush bath bomb I had once. It’s not the cats meow, but I’m into it.

Eve – The spirit of temptation, the essence of lost innocence. Apple blossom, rose, ylang ylang and golden honey. Oddly, the first impression was of overpowering purple grape. Like, nearly Bubblicious faux grape. And then figs and light freesia. Light and lovely, I could wear this anywhere.

Severin – Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, the Father of Masochism and sexual surrender, had planned on writing six volumes of erotic literature entitled The Heritage of Cain. Only the first two volumes were completed, the more famous of the two being the notorious Venus in Furs. This novel tells the tale of a man, Severin, that enters into a relationship of slavery and increasingly debauched degradation with his mistress, Wanda. Dry black teas, Earl Gray, and leather. Clean and citrusy, with lots of lemon smells which I guess is the bergamot speaking. I’d use it for spring mornings, cleaning binges or cucumber sandwich parties.

The ApothecaryTea leaf with three mosses, green grass, a medley of herbal notes, and a drop of ginger and fig. (Gender neutral) Gah! A totally unfixable, elusive scent. Do I love it? Do I hate it? I feel as though I remember it somehow, from a distant past. Perhaps I will ‘grow into it’, perhaps it is a scent that will suit me better in later life.

Lady Macbeth – The essence of ambition, covetousness and manipulation: sweet Bordeaux wine, blood red currant, thyme and wild berries. Bold! Double bold! A powerful statement of scent. The currant and wine are powerful and enticing. Not a smell to be taken lightly. Best worn to a tournament of wits, a dangerous seduction, or a regicide.

Blood Rose – Sensual, robust, and silken: voluptuous red rose bursting with lascivious red wine and sultry dragon’s blood resin. The rose and metallic topnote are rich and sensual and inviting. Barry White, anyone? Baby, why don’t you slip into something more comfortable while I light some candles and pour the wine?

No noticeable “patterns” except that I like tea (which we already knew), lilac and rose-based scents. Further proof that I am an old woman hiding in a young woman’s body.

WHAT I REALLY DIDN’T LIKE (Comments in italics are mine)

Grandmother of Ghosts – Mania, Roman Goddess of the Dead, Matron of Madness, Governess of the Ancestral Spirits, Bestower of Divine Frenzy. Her scent swirls with a high-pitched tumult of laurel, stargazer lily, splintered woods, peony, mandarin and white musk, and is spiked with pale pepper. (Gender neutral) Why yes – this *does* smell like dead people! Actually, more like chlorine poured on dead animals. A “high-pitched tumult”, indeed. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Florence – The pearl of the Italian Renaissance. Elegant iris, bright berries, gilded amber and velvety spices. (Gender neutral) The berries hit you first, then the amber. Okay, but too strong for my olfactory palette.

Fenris Wolf – The raw, untamable power of chaos. Rosewood, amber, red musk and a dribble of red sandalwood. (Traditionally masculine) Chaos = gross. More like the raw, untamable power of my ass. Smelling it was like being punched in the face by a huge, hairy fist of musk. I’d rather let a wolf urinate in my face than smell this again.

Shadow – A subtly menacing blend of lemon verbena, white sandalwood and cedar, dimmed by droplets of the darkest patchouli. (Gender neutral) Clean and lemony, but too sharp. I didn’t mind it, but I didn’t love it. Might smell better after wearing?

Scherezade – A master storyteller who possessed unfailing courage and compassion, a sharp, quick wit, and a true understanding of human nature. Saffron and Middle Eastern spices swirled through sensual red musk. Musky musky musky musky why don’t I just rub musk all over myself I’d get the same effect. Too much musk. All musk all the time.

Dragon’s Tears – Bittersweet yet powerful: salty aquatic notes and bursting with dragon’s blood. (Gender neutral) Hmm. Very potpourri. Too reminiscent of a Glade room spray to be desirable as a body scent. Like, I felt like it should be in a satchet in my underwear drawer. No jokes about how I think my panties should smell like salty aquatic blood, please.

Laudanum – The essence of the most debauched hunger encapsulated into a perfume. Desire beyond love, anguish beyond sanity. Nutmeg, sassafras, black poppy and myrrh. (Traditionally masculine) NASTY!!! Smelled like burnt wood and cough syrup. Ugh. Ick.

Lucy’s Kiss – Created to represent the essence of Bram Stoker’s tragic herione, Lucy Westenra. Seductive, wanton and deadly, but underscored with a soft, wistful innocense. The gentle scent of rose and a blend of Victorian spices. Cute. Lots of violets and lilacs and roses, it smelled like a teenage crush. Not for me, because I’m past my sweet 16.

Siren – Bewitching, tantalizing and dangerously seductive. A thrilling, exotic blend — deceptively sweet, but spiked with malice. White ginger, jasmine, and a touch of vanilla and apricot. Wanna smell just like candy? Then this is for you. So sugary sweet it could give you a toothache. Not a personal fave.

Suspiro – A Latin word that means to sigh or draw a deep breath, that also suggests longing, desire, yearning, and a passionate wish. Ylang ylang with white plum, white orchid, jasmine, calla lily and lily of the valley. (Gender neutral) Draw a deep breath and see if you can hold it while you’re running to the bathroom to wash this off. Like being in Woodstock, unshaven and unbathed, and covering it up by giving yourself a ‘shower’ with incense.

AmsterdamTulips, peony, fresh flowing water and crisp green grasses. *Exactly* as advertised. Smells clean, like the Dutch people with their cute little windmills and their type-A personalities. I might have worn it as a wake-up scent, except that to me it smells exactly like the perfume they put in Swiffer wet-jet floor leaning pads.

Spellbound – Perfectly enchanting! An irresistibly sexual, utterly rapturous blend of three roses, radiant amber, and sensual red musk. I am not enchanted. I am not in rapture. I am not feeling irresistable. I am feeling like I need to go to the loo and scrub my wrists with Dettol soap ASAP. Again with the unwashed hippy incense reekingness. Blech.

Blood Kiss – Lush, creamy vanilla and the honey of the sweetest kiss smeared with the vital throb of husky clove, swollen red cherries, but darkened with the vampiric sensuality of vetiver, soporific poppy and blood red wine, and a skin-light pulse of feral musk. (Gender neutral) Fierce cherry, poppy and almond overtones hit me like I was being slapped across the face by a woman with very long, sharp nails. Ouch! Too violent for my taste.

Bewitched – Deep, luscious green and berry scents that evoke images of woodland witchcraft and the raw power of nature: blackberry, sage, green tea, wild berries and dark musk. No, and I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you exactly why. Just no.

It would seem that my “dislikes” are easier to read than my “likes”: I don’t seem to be into wood, lilies, honey, vanilla, cherry, poppy, nutmeg, peony or red musk.

Although eventually, I feel like I’m going to get a full set of Tarot Oils imps, in the immediate future I’m very tempted to get imps of the complete Mad Tea Party scent collection. Any thoughts/opinions on these?

1. ALICE:  Milk and honey with rose, carnation and bergamot. (might like)

2. THE CATERPILLAR: Heavy incense notes waft lazily through a mix of carnation, jasmine, bergamot, and neroli over a lush bed of dark mosses, iris blossom, deep patchouli and indolent vetiver. (might like)

3. THE DORMOUSE: A dizzying eddy of four teas brushed with light herbs and a breath of peony. (sounds promising, except for the peony)

4. JABBERWOCKY: An earthy yet buoyant scent: pine, eucalyptus and orange.(hmm)

5. THE LION: The dry, glorious warmth of the Savannah. A golden, spiced amber, proud, regal and ferocious. (probably not)

6. MAD HATTER: A gentlemen’s lavender-citron cologne unhinged by the feral pungence of black musk and a paroxysm of pennyroyal. (black musk? probably not for me)

7. MARCH HARE: A twisted teatime tart: apricot and sweet clove. (yum! i heart apricot)

8. THE QUEEN OF HEARTS: Lily of the Valley, Calla Lily, stephanotis and a drop of cherry. (no way I am going to like this)

9. THE RED QUEEN: Deep mahogany and rich, velvety woods lacquered with sweet, black-red cherries and currant. (this will likely make me hurl)

10. TIGER LILY: A feisty bouquet of golden, warm, gently honeyed lilies. (I want to like it… but I probably won’t)

11. TWO, FIVE & SEVEN: A huge bouquet of squished rose petals: Bulgarian rose, Somalian rose, Turkish rose, Damascus rose, red and white rose, tea rose, wine rose, shrub roses, rose, rose, rose… and just an itty bitty bit of green grass. (AWESOME)

12. THE UNICORN: A misty, almost luminous perfume: wispy linden blossoms, white flowers, and a touch of sweet herbs. (yum! I think I’ll be totally into this)

13. WHITE RABBIT: Strong black tea and milk with white pepper, ginger, honey and vanilla, spilled over the crisp scent of clean linen. (sounds delicious – will probably like)

(I wouldn’t mind sniffing “QUEEN OF SHEBA”, “GRAND GUIGNOL”, “JOLLY ROGER”, “OUIJA”, “KITSUNE-TSUKI”, “TINTAGEL”, “MOON ROSE”, “SHADOW WITCH ORCHID” “DJINN”, “BLACK PEARL” or “FALLEN”, if anyone else has them)

8 thoughts on “Introducing: My Obsession with Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab

  1. A Black Pearl should be coming in our next shipment, whenever that is, because someone had ordered it this time but they sent something else by mistake. I think a few of those others may be floating around with us somewhere, though!

  2. Excellent – I dig the rum scent. Starting to reconsider some of those Tea Party imps in the face of my revelations about my many, many dislikes (seems I’m picky – who knew?)

    How did your packing go? Are you ready to rumble?

    I hear the weather is lovely in BC!! Lucky girl. 🙂

  3. Yes, I ordered Black Pearl and they sent me Blood Pearl by mistake. I think I’d really like Black Pearl, so I was bummed. I got Grand Guignol as a freebie but haven’t tried it yet. Also, I seem to be the only person who actually likes White Rabbit – I find it warm and peppery on me, everyone else said it didn’t work on them. I have it, so next time you’re here I’ll let you do some sniffing 🙂

  4. Darling, you worry too much!

    My finances, while never good, are also hardly ever “bad”. I’ve never yet missed a mortgage payment, or accumulated more than 3K of debt on my credit cards.

    And I promise if I lose my job or some other dreadful catastrophe befalls me, I will tighten the proverbial belt immediately. Until then, I will live as fully and as well as I can, because really, I could be dead tomorrow. You never know, do you?

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