The theme of this weekend was “not as planned”.

Here follows a long ranty rant about our aborted Battlestar Galactica marathon, my random intense bout of sadness due to unintentional actions of mum & boyfriend, and the troubles of our being homeless when we go to the Bahamas

Saturday morning may have been the only part that went “as planned”, since it was Justin’s Oma’s 81st birthday and we all went to visit her with cherry cheesecake and a birthday card, and I think she had a good time.

Saturday afternoon I initially thought that I would be working at the Quilt Show from 1-3pm, and then we had planned to begin the Battlestar Galactica 2.5 marathon as soon as I got home, taking a quick break to order in food for dinner, and basically watching all eleven episodes straight through until dawn. No such luck.

Turned out my shift was more like 3-6pm, but they told me it was so slow I only needed to come from 4-6pm. , who had told me the day before that she was too exhausted to come to Toronto on the weekend, apparently changed her mind last minute and showed up spontaneously at 2:30pm. I, of course, wasn’t there, so she called the house (why didn’t she call my cell phone aaargh!) and K-Jo told her that I would be at the show from 3-6pm. But because I didn’t know I was supposed to be meeting anyone, I just toodled around and showed up at 4pm.

At this point Mum had been waiting over an hour and looked kind of peeved, and had obviously seen all the quilts already. I didn’t have any time to walk through the show with her, since my shift was due to start any minute now, so we just said our hellos and goodbyes and she ran off home and I worked in the boutique.

I know it sounds ridiculous, but I felt so guilty and sad that I’d missed this opportunity to enjoy something I really love and am proud of being part of with my Mum, who I don’t get to see very often anyhow, that I just wanted to cry all afternoon. I actually had to go to the bathroom for a couple of minutes after she left to pull myself together. I guess I’d settled to the idea that she wasn’t going to be able to make it, and then when she showed up, and didn’t call me on my cell phone to let me know she was there, spent all that time at the place where I wanted to be with her, by herself, and then left just as I arrived… it was too much.

I was totally depressed for the rest of the day, which was probably a good thing in one way because I only spent about $17 on fabric (I’d planned on spending more like $100, to the point that I withdrew that much in cash), but was a really bad thing because when I got home at 6:30pm to start our Galactica-fest I was drained and sad and angry and all-over upset: totally unfit for company or television watching.

To top it all off, we had no luck at all hooking up Aaron’s computer to the TV, and so had to transfer all the files to my laptop, and then of course we didn’t have the right codecs or software to play the files, and some of them were corrupted or got cut off mid-transfer and were missing data, and we had lots of trouble with using remote monitors, so the whole evening was a bit of a wash in terms of our much-anticipated marathon. We only made it through four 45 minute episodes between 6:30pm and 1am — which means it took us about 2 hours per episode to get everything up and running.

Then, just after dinner, JVL said something offhand about how I should pitch in by cleaning up the basement, and then, moments later, before I even had a chance to get started, with his I’m-a-martyr-look-how-useless-my-girlfriend-is-at-cleaning face on, started to do it himself. In my already unbalanced mind, this set me off like a firecracker. I became convinced that this was the last straw in a long, long series of insults and slights and subtle jabs about how I am a slob and never clean and don’t contribute enough to the household duties, and I just wanted to retreat into myself and never participate in a group ever again.

I wanted to make my own meals for just me like when I was a bachelorette and clean my own dishes and nobody else’s and buy my own groceries and screw everyone else who feels my standards aren’t good enough. Fuck it: I do plenty for the household, and just because it isn’t dishes or laundry, doesn’t make me a bad person.

I got really quiet and sat by myself for the rest of the evening, lost in clouds of vague fury. I went to bed alone and woke up alone the next day, since JVL wanted to give me some space. He then did the “ignoring your obvious insane madness” routine, making breakfast and being cheery and acting like everything was fine. This was of course also taken poorly by me, as all I saw was avoidance of the issue, when I really wanted to talk it out. All told, a bad way to end one day and start a new one. Blar.

Sunday was a weird day. I couldn’t shake this feeling of oppressive sadness and sort of moped about in the morning. We had further codec/monitor problems, and only ended up watching another one and a half episodes, concluding at a really tense point right in the middle of an ambush. Roommate K-Jo left to do her 12:30-4pm shift at the Quilt Show, Aaron went home, and JVL went downtown to plan more world domination with . I pretty much hid in my quilt room all day, cutting fabric, screwing around, moving bits about on my design floor mat.

Later on, K-Jo and I tried to watch something from TMN on Demand, but there was a serious lack of quality cinema going on. We tried about 4 minutes of the Canadian film “Phil the Alien”, which was painfully, painfully bad. Then switched to “Shark Boy and Lava Girl”, also not fabulous but an improvement on Phil, although it failed to maintain our interest because it was really made for a child-only audience.

Then I got a call from my cousin, , who is our savior in that he and his wife are housesitting a condo in Nassau that they are letting us stay in when we go to the Bahamas. Or rather, he WAS that savior. As per his bad news in the phonecall, JVL and I are now somewhat homeless on vacation, since forgot to mention to the owner of the condo that we were coming to visit, and as such the condo was loaned to another of her friends for the month of April, so we have a limited number of options as to where to stay.

My Aunt and Uncle’s house is still majorly under construction, and although I’m told efforts are being made to get the guest room ready, it didn’t have a floor until yesterday and is still missing some of the modern conveniences such as a door, windows, a ceiling fan and a bed. Not good.

Also, my cousin wants us to fly with him and his wife to Exuma, one of the smaller Bahamian islands, to go sleep on the couches of one of their friends, but tickets there cost $185US return each, so I said no, it’s too expensive, our tickets to Nassau have already cost us a ton of money and we can’t afford to spend more. I’m not really keen on sleeping on a stranger’s couch in a strange place when they are in the house with us.

So there you have it. A bad, icky, no-good weekend and I’m glad it’s over even though some of these problems will obviously spill over into the future. Sigh.