1. Thumbs Down – to the blueberry whole grain/organic/nastily undercooked/blueberries-only-located-on-top-not-actually-in-the muffin I bought today at a new, previously unexplored natural living holistic store in the BMO part of the underground PATH (just past ‘Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory’, across from ‘The Kitchen Table’). So much for starting the day healthy; I threw about 75% of the thing out, because uncooked mealy dough is not the breakfast of champions.

2. Thumbs Up – to Arizona’s new “Chinese Apple Pomegranate Green Tea”, purchased by me this morning to accompany the muffin, at the same holistic foods store. Yum!

3. Thumbs Down – to me not having enough $$$ to get properly waxed for my vacation as just did, but instead having to do it the low-budget, old-fashioned way — shaving — which always gives me awful nightmares about accidentally cutting myself in really delicate places and then of course there is the nasty bumpy regrowth and itchy stubble in areas that should only ever be smooth and silky. Dang, I hate shaving. (ha ha ha… while I was searching for an image of a woman shaving, Google gave me a screen cut from “Shaving Ryan’s Privates” – is anything funnier than porn-name adaptations of real movies?)

4. Thumbs Up – to the sign on Weston Road informing me that there will eventually be a GoodLife Fitness club at the Crossroads Mall! Huzzah. I’ve been whining about the lack of any gym facilities within walking distance of our house for some time, and this would be perfect. I NEED a local gym, people. A personal trainer and local yoga classes would help, too. Please let this gym open sooner rather than later. [edited to add: I called Goodlife’s general inquiry line and they’ve informed me that it’s going to be a women’s only club, scheduled to open August 9th, the same day as the Superstore… groovy!]

5. Thumbs Down – to the lyrics of “Walking in Memphis”. Who the devil is W.C. Handy? Why would anyone be blue if they had a first class ticket? I am utterly baffled by the line “Walking with my feet ten feet off of Beale”: WHAT IS BEALE??? And lastly, how can anyone ask “Do I really feel the way I feel?” What kind of question is that? Listen buddy, you either feel it or you don’t. Aside from the rampant use of obscure cultural references in a pop song and the man’s internal conflict about the reality of his own emotions, the singer sees the ghost of Elvis. This dude is not running on all cylinders. What the hell does any of this mean? I have no idea. Why do I care? Why has this stupid, dreadful song been stuck in my head since they played it on Jack FM on the weekend??? Thumbs down to the fact that there are no good answers to any of these questions.

I’m sure there are more thumbs ups, but they’re not coming to mind at the moment and it’s time to get back to work.

Trying to conquer the Phone-O-Phobia with lists: Folks I need to call tonight after getting home from my co-worker’s goodbye party at The Brassierie…
–
–
–