Ode to the Elusive Wii

Nintendo childhood, always haunting me
Makes me desirous of the new platform,
I’ve called to ev’ry Best Buy: “Have you Wii?”
‘Tis nowhere found in stock, “sold out” the norm;
Now more than ever seems it rich to buy,
To play well after midnight with no pain,
My Visa’s sky-high limit is no use
In such an ecstasy!
Still bowling tempts, and I aspire in vain—
To thy sweet nunchucks’ elbow joint abuse.

(John Keats’ ghost must really hate me right now. At least I adhered strictly to rhymed stanzas.)

I’ve heard some excellent phrases this weekend. Last night, for example, when sampling the intoxicating delights of Nintendo’s Wii game system and also the intoxicating delights of Rickard’s Red, I handed my empty beer bottle to with a sad face. Upon seeing my woeful emptiness, our attentive host immediately said, “Oh no! Moira’s beer is broken. Look, it’s not working anymore. Let’s get her a new one to play with.” Delightful people.

I engaged in virtual bowling, which is practically the only way for me to enjoy the sport without making a complete ass of myself [, , I just want you to know that I have NOT FORGIVEN YOU for the whole dress-up-birthday-bowling-Star-Trek-uniform-incident and I MAY NEVER DO SO**]. And I also got to see a fascinating collection of carnivorous plants. A very cool night.

This morning, I had a welcome message from my dear friend Butler sitting in my mailbox. For anyone who likes music living in the GTA, this applies to you as well.

Hello, Music-loving Spamee;

Too many of you spend weekday evenings tragically under-rocked-out. Fortunately, help is available.

As some of you may know I play bass in a couple of overlapping bands, Whale Tooth (hooky indie rock) and the Favourite Scarves (folky country pop). Our first show happens this Wednesday, March 14th at the Embassy (in Kensington market at 223 Augusta). Music should start around nineish. All are welcome. Productive-member-of-society types will not be mocked for leaving early.

Whale Tooth is also playing the El Mocambo on Thursday the 22nd (with some other bands; $5 + canned good). Both bands play on Saturday the 24th at some bar in Scarborough. Apparently that’s how far you have to travel to get a weekend gig in this town.

If I were , I would probably decide to go to the El Mocambo, slap Butler on the ass, then stay awake all night before catching my 7am flight to Vancouver the next morning. Since I’m not Dave, I will choose sleep over being awesome. Anyone who wants to add a little bit of rockabilly white boy music to your evening repertoire, feel free to join me in Kensington on the evening of the 14th.

(I have not commented on ‘300’ for a reason: I’m still sorting out whether I liked it or not)

**I could be persuaded to learn how to love you again with chocolate and/or booze

12 thoughts on “Ode to the Elusive Wii

  1. I am such a child. Anytime I hear that name “wii”, the Beavis in me starts chuckling.

  2. I called every store in Niagara Falls and St. Catharines looking for the guitar hero II bundle and no one had it. I got tired of asking…”Do you have it? No? Will you be getting it? No idea? Ok……:(”

    I ended up winning it from a guy on ebay 2hrs from here for cheaper than the store prices and shipping is included. I can’t wait to “rock out” with my plastic mini guitar.

  3. Yikes, you should have come to Oakville, our Walmart is overflowing with said bundle.

    That out of the way, please welcome to the phenomenon they call Guitar Hero. I bought an XBOX 360 because I could not get enough of GH2 on my PS2, and I wanted the 6 extra songs… LOL!

  4. Nice. All is well GH-II on its way to me. I shall respect its electronic goodness and little plastic guitar.

  5. Word of advice: If you have any respect for Glenn Danzig at all, wear earplugs during “Mother”. The vocalist covering the song butchers it.

  6. Gah! Liar, liar, pants on fire!

    I just CALLED the Oakville Walmart, and despite your assurances of the overflowing bounty of their PS2 GH2 bundles, they are SOLD OUT.

    Also, they have no Wii systems in stock. Sucks.

  7. That’s odd, I was just there over the weekend. If anyone is still looking for the magical GH2 bundles, I *may* have seen them at the Toys R Us in the Yonge and Eglinton Centre.

    MoFo, are you a GH addict?

  8. Not yet, but I’d like to be.

    I got pretty heavily into the Donkey Konga Bongos, which I consider to be a musical gateway instrument, leading to the heavier Guitar Hero action.

    It’s either this, or Dance Dance Revolution, or maybe both. But really I want a Wii.

  9. OK, I know of one available now. Contact me offline and we can talk details 😉

  10. While I may not have ‘respect’ for Danzig after he became this monster huge dude 😛 I do hate the version they do on the game I’ve heard it….BAD.

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