Alternate Life, Part 3: What I would be eating
This is perhaps a stretch for my “alternate life”, since it would have to be oh-so-very alternative that I would in fact be living in someone else’s body. A body with a highly overactive thyroid gland and/or a metabolism that would sneeze at less than 4,000 calories per day. Still, I cling to the irrational idea that were I not in such a sedentary office job, I could eat whatever I liked with minimal physical consequences. Stop laughing. It might be true.
You see, along with my peculiar infatuation with cheerleaders, pinatas, mortgages, shoulder blades, and sheep-milk cheese, I am also head over heels for cupcakes. They’re so petite and decadent and delightfully youthful. How could you not like a cake that fits in your hand?
Thus, this “alternate life” entry is in two parts: one, exercising my dark passion for baking and consuming tiny cakelets day and night if only it didn’t affect my waistline; and two, a whimsical exploration of how else I’d like to incorporate empty calories into my day.
Part the First: All cupcakes, all the time
1) CUPCAKES IN TORONTO
While walking around Yonge & Eglinton with
2) CUPCAKE WORLD TOUR
I would eat Cream Puffs In Venice, order from Frufru in Britain, take a master cupcake-making workshop with pastry chef and ‘Kuiadore’ blogger Joycelyn Shu at Shermay in Singapore, (I would be her disciple already if only she lived on my continent), visit the bakery to the stars Leda’s Bake Shop in California, and go down under to try LeCupCake in Australia.
Next time I visit
3) DAMN RIGHT, THEY’RE BETTER THAN YOURS
Variety is the spice of life. Why settle for vanilla when you could try a million other flavours? Here are ideas and recipies that inspire me to make my own fresh-baked goods tasting of Green Tea, Lavender and Honey, Disco Coconut, Goji berry chocolate, Chocolate espresso, Mojito, Cream Cheese Filled and for something less sweet and more savory, Almond-Ricotta.
I check out new ideas regularly at CupcakeBlog.com and 52Cupcakes at Blogspot.
4) [I saved the best for last.] CUPCAKES + NINJAS = Complete Awesomeness.
Part the Second: Homer’s Land of Chocolate, Now With More Pastry!
If we were to extend my love of candied delights even further, there is a misty world just beyond the reach of my imagination where everything is edible. Way beyond gumdrop buttons, I dive straight into Hansel & Gretel territory. Some beautiful designers have worked hard to make my mental world closer to reality. Observe.
Let’s hit up Magnolia and mack on some cupcakes.
No doubt that bakery’s got all da bomb frostins.
I love those cupcakes like McAdams loves Gosling.
Two, no six, no twelve, BAKERS DOZEN.
I told you that I’m crazy for these cupcakes, cousin.
I say bravo.
Magnolia Bakery…so yummy
I wanna cupcake.
Or 10.
My brother is one of the foul creatures who can eat whatever they want and rely on a fast metabolism to keep them spry. He outeats me easily (and I’m rather large), sleeps all day, doesn’t exercise and you can still see his ribs!
We always thought that his eating habits would catch up with him when he got older, but he’s 27 and counting… Universal Food Karma hasn’t nailed him yet.
Damn, woman, good catch. 🙂
Bust up in our seats, Movie Trivia’s the illest!
“What Friends alum starred in films with Bruce Willis?â€
We answered so fast it was scary!
Everyone stared in awe when we screamed:
MATTHEW PERRY!
Two, no six, no twelve, BAKERS DOZEN.
😉
Gotcha.
We’re watching the Notebook tomorrow, then?
😉
The ninja cupcakes are awesome. I want to icon that so badly.
You two scare the living bejeezus outta me.
More often than not.
Baby, it’s DONE.
Check it: http://a-muffin-story.livejournal.com/11424.html
Your wish is our command. 🙂
If ‘The Notebook’ were a category on Jeopardy:
“Movies about Alzheimer’s that make Pipes cry until her eyes bruise for $800, please Alex?”
I was just being a doofus. I totally know that’s not on the agenda.
I think it’s possible I’m the frontrunner for the Nobel Insensitivity Prize!
“Holy Cow, a talking muffin!”
Oh, you people want to talk muffins?
Try this shit on for size.
All I have to say is “It was on this day that it rained muffins.”
-CP
For the record, and trust that I do not say this lightly: BEST LIVEJOURNAL POST OF ALL TIME.
Cupcakes and ninjas. Fucking brilliant man.
Thank you. Thank you.
Yes but I feel the need to make one that says “Touch my cupcake, die by the sword.” or something to that effect.
That video was… well, I’m glad I watched it.
The Edward Gorey-style storyline!
The fabulous voice acting!
The rain of muffins!
Good link, bro, good link.