Leaving for airport in a few hours. Just got back from visiting ‘s rowing club, where I helped load a ‘single’ into the ‘shell bay’ (I just learned those terms, so I’m flaunting my new vocabulary) because I was mistaken for a rower due to wearing K’s whistle. I find it really funny that they pull the boats out of the water and then wash them – it’s probably about removing the salt, but still. Why wash the wet things?

Since folks have asked, here are some details of our trip & plans:

The Hong Kong exchange rate for the Canadian dollar is about 0.15, which means it’s going to cost me about $34HK for a Starbucks latte while I’m there. Ergo, K and I are rolling into town with MAD WADS OF CASHOLA on our persons. I will post photos shortly of the two of us fanning ourselves with the thousands and thousands of HK dollars we bought at the Currency Exchange today. I feel like Carmen motherfucking Sandiego over here. We need money clips for all this mad cheddar, for serious.

Weather-wise, the highs for this week will be around 27-28 degrees celsius, lows of 21-22 (for my American audience, that’s highs of 80-82 and lows of 69-71). Temperatures are comparable to LA, only with more humidity and rain and people speaking Cantonese.

We’re staying at the Prudential, a swanky hotel in Kowloon’s Tsim Sha Tsui district, near the Jordan MTR station on the Tsuen Wan line. While in TST, I’ll be stopping by the old clocktower, which used to mark the end of the Orient Express railway.

In a nod to Ian Fleming, I wanted to stop for martinis at the “Bottoms Up Club”, which existed on Hankow Road in TST for 30 years, exactly as it was featured in “The Man With the Golden Gun”, but the bar has now sadly moved across the harbor to Wan Chai. As it is a topless joint, K and I will not be allowed in as unaccompanied women. Apparently our delicate constitutions and virginal female eyes cannot sustain the sight of naked titty, even though if you added up our brassiere sizes you’d have a G-cup woman. So ridiculous. Instead, I guess I’ll make my many tea-loving readers happy and attend a Chinese Tea Appreciation Class.

We must visit Yau Ma Tei to see the spectacular Temple Street Night Market, and my friend Alyssa has given me strict orders to go buy something pretty at the Jade Market. will be pleased to know that I will head north to the New Territories and make a quick stop at New Town Plaza to bring back a piratical haul of oriental/British treasure from Marks & Spencer. This, we can conveniently do en route to visiting the Heritage Museum and the Ten Thousand Buddhas Monastery. I’ll be avoiding the wet market on Reclamation Street, since I enjoy meat but don’t feel the need to be there at the exact moment when a cow becomes dinner.

Hong Kong Stadium, where the rugby matches will be held, is located across the water on Hong Kong Island in So Kon Po, Causeway Bay. It is there that we will go to see the men in the tiny, tiny shorts kick the little ball around the big grass. We will also drink beer and shout loud obscenities at the players whose gluteus maximii don’t measure up to our exacting ass-standards.

Lastly, we will NOT be visiting Hong Kong Disneyland, but will be going to Lantau Island to take in the vistas with the Ngong Ping 360 Skyrail and pay our respects to the 72-foot-high Big Buddha, seated on his lotus-petal throne, at Po Lin (“Precious Lotus”) Monastery. To reach the statue, you must climb more than 260 steps. If anyone wants me to burn any paper money, paper food, paper clothes, paper DVD players, or paper Lamborghinis for their ancestors, just let me know.