I got the job! I’m hired! I’m thrilled to be an official, certified member of the geek elite. LARPists and members of the SCA, make way for the newest Snail employee.

I’m a woman who has chosen to work in my precious free time at a job where I will get minimally remunerated for the psychological scars incurred by watching the Lord of the Rings trailer play over 300 times in the course of a single shift. I get to spend one night and either one or both weekend days surrounded by things like resin figurines of characters from the Hellraiser novels and Maurice Sendak books and life-size replicas of broadswords and Captain America’s shield.

Oni Press to the right of me, Slave Labour Graphics to the left of me, Marvel and DC all around me. It’s a little slice of heaven, and very possibly the embodiment of my own personal hell.

Will I be able to handle this? Is it going to make me detest comics (and kill my Christmas spirit, as I deal with frazzled shoppers) in a super-short period of time? I fear I may not be as intimidating and fearless when confronting shoplifters as I once was. My math skills at the cash may have deteriorated. I don’t even know if I can stand on my feet for eight hours at a time anymore. Will I come to loathe the regulars? Or worse yet, my coworkers and boss? Will this be the end of our intrepid heroine?

Only time will tell.