Pyrotechnicality

I am about 5 minutes and one more revised Ministry issue note away from setting fire to my cubicle and all of the grisly evidence of my working life therein.

I’m looking for reasons why arson might be a bad idea. Other than the death of my spider plant.

Objections? Anyone?

*strikes a match*

7 thoughts on “Pyrotechnicality

  1. I’m thinking it might be hard to start your new job from jail.

    maybe not, maybe I’m just old fashioned in my employment thinking but I think it might make a difference.

  2. …then again, maybe my evasion of the law and inevitable televised arrest will make me infamous! The “tough babe” of the comix underground.

    I could update the Snail’s website and write reviews from my cell, plus I could read comics *full time* since I wouldn’t have any of this pesky paperwork to do, and all my meals would be cooked for me already.

    I would be like the guru of graphic novels! I could finally finish reading Will Eisner’s complete Spirit archives! And think how massive my pipes would get after working out all day in the prison gymnasium!

    Groovier and groovier!

    *waving lit match ominously close to teetering stack of RFP forms*

  3. … to the fact that your office is too far away from mine, and thus there’s little to no chance of the fire spreading and taking this hellhole out as well.

    *cough*

    Apologies. It looks like we’re having the same workday.

  4. still, image is everything, if you’re planning on being caught today I would hope you’d worn clothes both suitable for television, yet with that edge which would help to cement your “tough babe” projection…and possibly that are fire proof.

    Of course, the flight from the law might not help once your case comes before the bar. Still, you seem to have come down on the unrepentant hard case side as opposed to the overstressed victim so I won’t belabor the point.

    As far as prison goes, I would hope that you make friends easily as, if the media reports and dramatizations are true (and aren’t they always?), the ones on the inside with the biggest “friends” seem to be the ones who have the time to fulfill the requirements of their new jobs.

    So, if it hasn’t already gotten to your fingers, I guess you’ve thought about this enough to make your own decision. Maybe you could work a deal with , start a trend.

  5. I think this grey grey Toronto day could use some more smoke on the horizon. Though if you *do* burn down your building, you’ll be helping out with the conservative agenda for smaller government, so you might want to think twice.

    If you burn down your building, do i get a tax break?

  6. i need more comics and less kali-esque destruction. although she is the goddess of childbirth. when are you working at the snail?

  7. Was at “L’Escargot d’Argent” tonight, in fact, trying to cram my brain with knowledge of gaming compendiums (compendia? compendii?) and Magic cards. Will be back Wednesday 4-8, then again Friday at the same Bat Time. Also Saturday 1-7pm, and oh! almost forgot Sunday ALL DAMN DAY.

    I’m hoping to burn the love of comics out of my flesh with constant overexposure, in a purgative fashion that combines the medical wisdom of Aristotle, the Holy Inquisition, Richard Pryor, and Flash Gordon.

    God help us if my experiment fails. Then I will have simply fed my obsession until it rages out of control. In which case, I foresee my future as marrying into the Van Leeuwen clan, opening a Snail franchise of my own, possibly in Oakville, and starting a charity home for feral cats.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *