Stayed over at JVL’s last night, and took the 6:08am GoTrain to Union Station this morning in order to get to work on time. Was carrying massive bag of laundry and also backpack.

Halfway down the street, heading towards Weston train station, heard clanging of bells and saw lowering of railway barriers. Heart thumping, it dawned on me that if I didn’t catch the train there was NO other way for me to make it to work even REMOTELY close to on time. Also, I don’t know how to get to the subway from the train station, so would have to go back to house and wake Justin up AGAIN. No good.

Panicked. Started running. Fast. Really fast.

Carrying heavy bags. Stitch in side, breathing getting sharp and shallow, can’t stop running. Train is in station. Punch card, slide on just as doors are closing behind me. Train starts to pull away, and I’ve dropped my bags and unzipped my coat. Can’t. Catch. Breath. Wheezing, throat closing, lungs feel like they have shrunk to the size of a clenched fist, tight and rattling.

This is the beginning of a fifteen minute asthma attack. They usually don’t hit me until the summer months, May at the earliest, and I haven’t had one since September of last year, when it was muggy and smoggy and I was biking all over the city. I no longer carry my inhaler with me. Maybe this is another adopted medical condition from JVL, like his communicable hypoglycemia?

Anyway, I had to go home to get my inhaler, and was having difficulty breathing by the time I got to Spadina as well. But I didn’t take a puff because I have to go under general anaesthetic tomorrow morning, and I’m not sure how thrilled the surgeon is going to be if I have salbutamol floating around in my system. So my coughing has lessened but I’m worried about my crappy malfunctioning respiratory system.