Huh. I appear to have developed a different problem with my schoolwork than I have previously encountered in my undergrad or even the first 6 credits of my M.A.

I have developed syndrome, and I wrote too much! My seminar today is supposed to be 20 minutes long, involving the succinct presentation of my material and the masterful leadership of a probing and thoughtful class discussion on the aspects of the novel that I’ve explored in my thesis. Or something like that. The prof explicitly states in the syllabus that: “It is an absolute requirement that you distribute a one-page [my emphasis, not his] outline of your argument. I beseech you to make them intelligible.”

How many pages do I have? EIGHT. 8 bloody pages, of totally abbreviated to the max references to the Arthurian links in the text, the novel’s circularlity and parallels, a HUGE section on the animal motif in the novel and the chimera effect of conflating humans, beasts, and machines. My thesis is loosely based on the idea of a widening focus that Waugh has been developing over the course of his three pre-war novels: first he explores the individual, then the ‘younger set’, and in this book, takes a more global view of English society, it’s incursions into the world and vice versa.

How the DEUCE am I supposed to pack all that into one page? 1/4 inch margins and 4 point font?!?! Ridiculous. I wonder if it’s more of a guideline sort of thing (like parlay!), where he “suggests” or “sets a minimum of” one page, but in reality would be ecstatic to receive a tidy eight-page booklet with typed quotations and page references. Perhaps not. Sigh. Well then, it’s got to be bullets. Like so?
– Arthurian : medieval world lost, humans not chaste, irony?
– Animals : lots of them, sometimes part human, sometimes machine
– Circularity : loop effect prevalent, creates many parallels!
– Expansion : it’s not just for the universe, Waugh does it too

I’m worried because, despite utter exhaustion this morning, slightly alleviated by me sucking back coffee like a hoover, I am being EERILY productive at work today. Like, more productive than I’ve been in quite a while. After staying up until 3:30am last night working on this infernal thing, I’m not sure that should be the case, unless I made some unwitting pact with the Devil exchanging my soul for 24 hours of alertness. Or maybe this is the rush preceding the crash, and by the time 4pm arrives and I have my weekly meeting with the Minister’s office, or when 7pm rolls around and I’m expected to be pithy and bright and lead the class in a rollicking discussion of 1930s British literature, I will instantly become dead. Hmm.

But sleep deprivation is a classic problem, an OLD problem, a problem I am quite accustomed to and have wrestled with a million times before. Really, it’s the chopping my argument down to one page that has me stressed.

Oh, and ? I know you’ve had Gaston in your head for, what, weeks now, but I’ve been on mental auto-loop of “I Feel Pretty” from West Side Story ALL MORNING. I think it’s because JVL and I watched ‘Anger Management’ a few weeks ago, and now it’s stuck in my head. Which makes it either better or worse, because my brain is channeling the Adam Sandler version.