12 thoughts on “Why I Didn’t Bike to Work This Morning”

1. I am so kidding. Girl, you need a spa day.

   Also, mint invite. Woo. It’s amazing how much more creative everyone is in comparison to me.

2. ALIENS was directed by James Cameron. Ridely Scott made ALIEN.

   The character who says “Bishop should go” is called Hudson, not Hunter.

   The Ripley picture is from shitty ALIEN RESURRECTION, not ALIENS.

   It’s called a “Gorn”, not a “Gorm”.

   All this valuable geek training, and this is what you give us? Grade C-

   😛

3. Everyone’s loving it here at the store.

4. And if there were pictures enough to match each movie for the invite maybe I would have had more sleep last night too. Sadly the internet isn’t the tool of the future we all predicted.

5. I’ll push you down and call you a sissy boy.

   Seriously, you want pictures, you coulda just called. I got ’em all.

6. I would have had to have called your house at, like, 11pm… you probably wouldn’t even have woken up for the evening yet!

   *blows an exceedingly wet raspberry in your direction*

   I spent like a bizillion years looking for a photo of Weaver from Aliens that didn’t have her trapped in that big yellow machine with the crushy-arms. I think she’s had them all eradicated from the internet. Not even fan-boy sites had them. It was seriously weird.

   Of course, I could have just gone to the basement, pulled out the DVD and done a screen cap. But that would have been cheating.

7. You didn’t even mention that the alien head I used for its excellent acid drool effects was blatantly stolen from the poster for AVP.

   All I said was that she “liked” Ridley Scott’s Aliens (a synecdochal use of the term, implying the collective species of Aliens, not the inconveniently titled Alien sequel specifically) NOT that my invite was particularly based on the second Alien film, although that is where I ripped the dialogue from.

   It’s also true that the script from Aliens does not specifically mention our mutual friend Sarrah in any way. Bishop DID go out there, and didn’t bring her name up in the conversation at all, much to everyone’s relief. So there’s another place that I strayed from the biblical authority of Alien movie #2.

   And if you have all of the photos of Sigourney Weaver in Aliens, GIVE THEM BACK TO THE GORRAM INTERNET, YOU PHOTO-HOARDING BASTARD!!! I needed those photos, and because of your lack of geek-sharing via fansites, Google was unable to assist me in my hour of need.

8. But you forget that I’ve known Sarrah for ages and as such am keenly aware that her love is, in fact, reserved for ALIENS the film, and not “aliens” the fictitious species, be they created by Ridley Scott (or more correctly, Hans-Rudi Giger by way of Dan O’Bannon & Ron Shusett)or not.

   And while your use of “synecdochal” is applaudable, points are deducted for use of the made-up word “gorram”, which is fannish and silly, when you really mean “goddam”, which is a genuine expletive used by humans. See also people who say “frell” when they really mean “fuck”, although at least FARSCAPE lasted longer than thirteen goddam fucking episodes.

   Also? PLLLLLLLLZZZZZZZBBBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!

   Oh, and Alien drool isn’t acidic. It’s their blood you’re thinking of.

9. All this geekery aside (and I will not apologise for my use of gorram… my love of Firefly cannot be commuted into mere “fandom”… it surpasseth all understanding) – did you actually enjoy the design of the thing at all? I was choosing graphics and font based on visual appeal, not movie accuracy. Obviously.

   So did it work?
   And are you going to be there?

10. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. And for the record, yes, I quite liked the invite. The choice of Sarrah pic was particularly inspired. That’s how I always think of her — or at least that how’s she always looks when she sees me.

11. She looks at you like you’re a slobbering alien about to eat her?

12. Frankly, yes. And really, could we blame her?