Current favorite hate phrase: “dicked up and horky”

Wow. really hit it on the head with her link to today’s Tomato Nation rant, Cirque Du Shut Up. It’s only kinda funny on the first page, but click on “more” and by page two it will really get you going with the suppressed choking-on-your-own-tongue-so-you-can-remain-office-appropriate guffaws. Soooo funny.

Things I’m craving:
– hot earl grey tea in a delicate china cup with 2% milk and a half teaspoon of honey
– ice cold fizzy Coca Cola in a glass with ice cubes and a slice of lemon
– a small bouquet of really nice smelling miniature roses, in some sort of dusky dark pink tone
– a boxed set of Father Ted DVDs
– a pink v-neck top with three-quarter sleeves and a little bow that really flatters my figure
– a dinner party with: all of the Golden Girls; Marc Greenstreet, aka the man who played Josephine Tey’s character ‘Brat Farrar’ in a made-for-TV mystery I watched when I was 10 (OMG I can’t believe they’re getting Ben Affleck to play this role in the Hollywood version, VOMIT PUKE ABHOR LOATHE); Simon Dutton, aka the man who played Agatha Christie’s character ‘Harry Lucas’ in a made-for-TV mystery I watched when I was 12; Colonel Sanders; Rob Lowe; Mark Hamill and the entire cast of the film Clue (I would have invited Gwen Stefani and her troup of Japanese b-girls as well, but I think they’d be attention-grubbing hounds)
– a complete set of Miffy books and paraphernalia from CafePress.com
– a mint julep, which I can drink while being driven around the green and blossoming countryside in the front passenger seat of a large baby-blue convertible with the top down
– a safari in Africa
– a little rubber super-bouncy ball with glitter in it
– a paintball gun, with a lot of ammo in it
– a home chocolate-making session wherein I create 24 flawless truffles
– a Godzilla movie being played at the Bloor revue cinema where ushers wearing little round red felt hats are serving Junior Mints and Pocky from trays slung around their necks and Justin and I are there with all the Staff from the Snail and we’re all wearing some form of ridiculous headgear and matching Japanese-themed graphic tees and jeans and it’s the middle of a weekday afternoon
– a weekend trip involving a canoe and maybe some fire
– an outdoor easel with canvas set up before a posed model, a palette, oil pants, and an apron