Let’s Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson


[rating=4] For me, a sign of a good book is one that makes me insist on narrating passages to unwilling listeners. I read nearly two full chapters of ‘Let’s Pretend This Never Happened’ out loud to various friends and coworkers, and there were several other sections I wanted to share, but I was too busy not breathing and shredding my abdominal muscles from silent, shuddering laughter.

Best bits? I took personal delight in reading tales of The Bloggess’s adventures working in human resources, and any chapter that detailed exchanges with her husband. Theirs is a bizarre, messy, confrontational relationship and I enjoyed the vicarious snippets she shared; kind of Liz Taylor and Richard Burton with a touch of Bonnie & Clyde.

From a stylistic point of view, her writing is sort of a bastard child of the later works of James Joyce and Hunter S. Thompson. Vast swathes of stream-of-consciousness give you a deeply raw and naked look inside a disturbed mind. Sometimes this is hilarious; other times tedious. One mildly annoying quirk that I wish her editor had dealt with was Lawson’s addiction to adverbs; her text is cluttered with words ending in -ly, when a more elegant solution to the phrasing was often available.

Brilliant use of footnotes, post-scripts and post-its made for an entertaining variety of form and presentation that worked well with the subject matter and how the author relates it. All the flavour of a blog with none of the typos and the added spice of occasional notes to/from the Editor and with a very po-mo awareness of the way book publication and marketing works in today’s literary market.

The chapters where Lawson describes her anxiety disorder and her attempt at making friends with girls grated on me a little, but I suppose she felt that making light of this subject might make her an asshole or something. That’s a fair argument, but was a jarring change of tone in the midst of an otherwise jovial memoir.

While often side-splittingly hilarious, not all of this book is funny. There’s a lengthy chapter about Lawson’s challenges with conception and carrying a baby to term that’s pretty grim, but (spoiler alert) there’s a happy conclusion, plus it was a fairly important lead in to further discussion of her vagina, which is the source of infinite jest in this novel, so all’s well that ends well?

To conclude, this book will not be for everyone, especially given the liberal use of profanity, unrelenting focus on sex organs, proliferation of dead animals, scorpions, fecal matter, animal husbandry, teenage drug use, and taxidermy.

However, if you are one of my friends in the 30-something over-educated urban crowd, with or without children, gay or straight, single or coupled, I suspect it will repay you to check this book out for its ribald humour, gleeful experimentation with the English language and educational information about how HR really works.

Also, I probably already bought you a copy for Christmas. You’re welcome.

If you find Jenny Lawson entertaining, you might also enjoy…

1) David Sedaris’s ‘Me Talk Pretty One Day’

2) Tina Fey’s ‘Bossypants’

3) Anthony Bourdain’s ‘Kitchen Confidential’

4) Graham Roumieu’s ‘In Me Own Words: The Autobiography of Bigfoot’

4 of 5 stars / bookshelves: read, biography, comedy, 318 pages, Publisher: Putnam (2012)
Read from September 10 to 15, 2012

Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie


[rating=5] Minerva Dobbs might be my favorite romance heroine, and I do not type those words lightly. Sure, she has flaws, but her dialogue is to die for and she contains facets of all of my best friends in their best moments.

At regular intervals, ‘Bet Me’ delivers scenes that –in real life– would end in awkward silence, chagrin and later regret. Here? They end in pithy triumph! You know when you have those…

  • Delicate flirty exchanges where you’re dying to come up with the perfect witty riposte that will charm and beguile?
  • Catty girl-fights where you want to verbally slap a bitch?
  • Angry dinners with your parents, or your boyfriend’s parents, where ancient scars and old embarrassments are ripped open and exposed in a totally inappropriate venue and you just sit there mute and woebegone?

TONGUE TIED NEVER APPLIES TO MIN DOBBS. That woman *always* has the right comeback at hand, bless her. You’re watching a series of ideal conversations unfold, and you just get to sit back, cheer and shake your pom-poms. Or (if you’re me) read the dialogue aloud just to feel the satisfaction of your mouth delivering a damn fine set-down.

This is delectable, re-readable, dreamy chick lit. Like Marian Keyes, it surpasses the boundaries of its genre while reveling in the strange rituals of dating and group bonding that embody a social comedy.

I’ll admit, there are some awkward moments. A slight excess of creepy psychoanalysis and theorizing about human relationships as chaos theory from the supporting characters. An unhealthy obsession with chicken marsala. Many doughnuts are consumed in the course of the tale.

And if you read romances for steamy sex scenes, please walk right on by. Sex shows up predictably late in this story and the act of seduction itself did not knock my socks off. It’s all about the brain stimulation here, about finding a mate who can match your intellect and make you feel at home in your own skin. It’s soul mates and kisses, not P in V.

I enjoyed this book immensely. Crusie did a great job of taking a jaded angle that I usually hate (using a bet to keep H/H apart, ugh) and remade it into a bearable and functional plot device. She took the unpopular route of having a plus-sized heroine, explored some of the pressures and neuroses that made her overeat (hello, mommy) and did not pull a Keyes and magically melt off the pounds with a wasting disease or clinical depression. No! She left Minerva pleasantly plump until the conclusion and gave her a passionate entanglement with a man who loves her curves and defends her sexiness to any and all detractors. Bravo!

Too many romances adhere slavishly to the established tropes of the genre. Crusie defies expectations by giving life to her entire ensemble: Bringing in bitchy parents and lovestruck nephews, evil bridesmaids, stray cats, snow globes, evil exes, Italian chefs and lesbian bartenders as needed to move her story forward. In this book, it takes a village to get two stubborn lovers together, and it’s a joy to watch it happen.

Looking for romance in all the wrong places? Try these instead…

1) Marian Keyes’s ‘Lucy Sullivan is Getting Married’

2) Helen Fielding’s ‘Bridget Jones’ Diary’

3) LaVyrle Spencer’s ‘The Gamble’

4) Julia Quinn’s ‘What Happens In London’

5 of 5 stars / bookshelves: read, romance, comedy, 391 pages, Publisher: St. Martin’s Paperbacks (2004)
Read from September 5 to 8, 2012